Gay Asian Dating
Dating Violence Is Real – Learn What To Look For
Dating Violence Is Real – Learn What To Look For
What exactly is dating violence you ask? Dating violence is behavior that is controlling, abusive, and/or aggressive in a romantic or dating relationship. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is between gays, straights, whites, blacks or Asians. Dating violence happens in all types of romantic relationships and can include verbal, physical emotional and/or sexual abuse.
Where can victims find help and resources? The National Center for Victims of Crime offers a wealth of resources and help to those who need it.
Some verbal and emotional characteristics of abuse include:
- Making you feel bad by belittling you
- Making violent threats against you, your family or themself if you do not do what they want
Recognizing controlling behaviors:
- Stopping you from doing things with your friends
- Calling, texting, paging excessively to find out where you are, what you’re doing and who your with
- Telling you what you can or can’t wear
- Having to be with you at all times and at all costs
Physical abuse may include:
Signs of sexual abuse:
- Unwanted touching and kissing
- Not letting you use contraceptives or birth control
- Forcing you to do sexual things you don’t want to do
Dating violence does not discriminate and can affect anyone. Boys or girls can be victims, but they tend to abuse their partners in different ways. Girls are more likely to yell, threaten to hurt themselves, pinch, slap, scratch, or kick. Boys injure girls more and are most likely to punch or hit their partner and force them to do or perform sexual acts.
Victims of dating violence typically feel guilty and think it’s their fault. They tend to feel angry, sad, lonely, depressed, and confused. They have feelings of anxiety, humiliation, and helplessness to stopping the abuse. Surprisingly the abused tend to be very protective their abusing partner.
Unfortunaltly, this type of abuse is not uncommon.
- One in five teens in a serious relationship reports having been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner.
- Fifty to eighty percent of teens have reported knowing others who were involved in violent relationships.
- Teens identifying as gay, lesbian, and bisexual are as likely to experience violence in same-sex dating releationships as youths involved in opposite sex dating
- Many studies indicate that, as a dating relationship becomes more serious, the potential for and nature of violent behavior escalates.
- Young women, ages 16 to 24 years, experience the highest rates of relationship violence.
Being a victim of dating violence is not your fault. Nothing you say, wear, or do gives anyone the right to hurt you. If you feel you are in an abusive relationship get help right away. Don’t keep concerns to yourself, contact someone that can help you like The National Crime Victim hotline at 1-800-FYI-CALL . Confide in someone you trust like parents, teachers, principals, counselors, priests or nurses.
Think about ways to help yourself be safer. This means being proactive and thinking about what to do, where to go for help, and who to call ahead of time. Rehearse the following:
- Where can you go for help?
- Who can you call for help?
- Who are the people you trust to help you?
- How will you escape a violent situation?
Some precautions you should take include letting your trusted friends and family know when you are afraid or need help. When you go out, tell people where you are going and when they should expect you back. Memorize important phone numbers and put them in your cell phone on speed dial. Go out in a group or with other couples. Have emergency money available for transportation if you need to take a taxi, bus, or subway to escape.
Protect yourself with personal protection products such as pepper spray or personal alarms. Home security products are inexpensive and can alert you to motion or attempted entry into your house or apartment.
If you need more information visit www.ncvc.org/dvrc
Guardian Self Defense & Security Products LLC
About the Author
Bryan Buckner is a top self defense & surveillance consultant and business owner. He opened Guardian Self Defense & Security Products LLC in 2005. Since that time Guardian has successfully helped over 19,000 (and counting) people and small businesses improve their security situation. Proud members of the South Louisiana Better Business Bureau.
Gay Indian guys?
I’ve only recently noticed this whilst browsing through online dating profiles – that gay Indian men seem to be new undesirables added to the blacklist after the gay Asian dudes. Profiles that used to say “No Asians” only now seem to all say “No Asians and Indians”.
What’s with the sudden addition of Indian guys all of a sudden? Any gay Indians out there experienced any racism/exclusion in the gay [dating] community?
The responses so far have been very positive! It’s probably just where I live (Australia) then…
As to Steven – I understand your point but I probably forgot to mention that half those ads I saw mentioned that the exclusions were based on ‘finding a soulmate’…
I mean ok for one night stands/f**k buddies they’d list races/looks/etc. since lust is mostly physical but I cannot understand how they can exclude their potential life partner based on race…
When it’s for love, race wouldn’t matter right? It’s sad.
The gay community / scene is probably more racist than any other social grouping.. due to a superficial ethos and a constant need to find “Mr Better than the last Best”. I’ve also noticed many gay lads are now quite ignorant and have abandoned education for a good time..
.. and don’t be idiotic by trying to justify it by saying it’s not racism, just personal preference. How many personal ads do you see saying “No Whites”? Black men are still objects of desire as they hold the promise of a large penis for this dumbed down, stereotyping generation.
.. Indian Gay men are not visible because they endure such discrimination that they tend to not stray outside their social groups.
